category: Student Success Finding Your People: How to Build Community in College By ÍøÆسԹÏ-Webb University On October 14, 2026 You can be surrounded by people and still wonder where you fit.That’s one of the strange things about starting college. Suddenly, there are people everywhere—roommates, classmates, teammates, professors, people in the dining hall, on the quad, and students passing you on the way to class.But being around people isn’t necessarily the same as feeling connected to them.For students who arrive knowing few—or perhaps no—people on campus, finding community in college can take time. And that’s okay.Belonging isn’t necessarily something that happens the moment you unpack your room.Sometimes you find your people gradually. Why Does Connection Matter So Much in College? The desire to connect isn’t something students need to outgrow or overcome.Kim Retherford, director of Counseling Services at ÍøÆسԹÏ-Webb University, describes healthy connection as something people need throughout their lives. "We need throughout our lifespan healthy connections. Our brains are hardwired to connect to other people." Connection can provide support, encouragement and validation. In discussing factors that can support mental health, Retherford also identifies close friends and supportive family members as examples of protective factors—the things in a person’s life that can help support them.That helps explain why relationships can feel particularly important during college.You’re not simply completing assignments and earning credits. You’re living through a period of significant change, often while trying to build a new support system at the same time. Why Can Belonging Feel Hard When College Begins? Starting college can disrupt almost everything familiar at once.Your schedule changes. Your surroundings change. The people you see every day change. Even students who attend college close to home may suddenly find themselves navigating a very different social environment.ÍøÆسԹÏ-Webb University counselor Bogdan Podgaisky connects that change with the desire to belong. "And so in a university setting where there is so much change, that can kind of give rise to a lot of that sense of wanting to belong when you feel so out of place. Or maybe there's a lot of uncertainty." That uncertainty doesn’t mean you’re doing college wrong.You may see other students quickly form groups and assume everyone else has already figured out where they belong.But a first conversation isn’t a friendship.A group photo isn’t necessarily a community.Meaningful connection often requires something less dramatic: time. You Don't Have to Belong Everywhere One of the traps of finding community is assuming you need to fit into every room you enter.You don’t.College brings together people with different interests, backgrounds, experiences and perspectives. Podgaisky recalls noticing differences in worldview when he began meeting friends, professors and other people when he was a college student. He suggests paying attention to those differences and considering how they affect relationships.Finding your people doesn’t require finding people exactly like you.Some of the most meaningful relationships may introduce you to perspectives and experiences very different from your own.But neither do you need to force every connection to become a close relationship.Podgaisky hopes students can eventually “pick up on their specific niche” as they move through their university experience.That’s a useful way to think about belonging.You don’t need every niche. You need yours. Finding Your People Usually Requires Showing Up Friendship rarely arrives by appointment.More often, relationships grow because people repeatedly find themselves in the same places.The classmate you talk with before class becomes someone you study with.The person you sit beside at an event becomes someone you recognize the next time.A teammate, roommate or club member gradually becomes someone you trust.If you’re trying to build community, start with opportunities that already connect with something you care about. That might be an organization, athletics, campus employment, a class, service project, faith community, creative activity or another shared interest.Then give it time.You don’t have to enter the room determined to meet your new best friend.Sometimes the goal is simply to show up again.Familiarity creates opportunities for dialogue. Conversation creates opportunities for connection. And connection sometimes grows into something much deeper. Being Alone and Feeling Alone Aren't Always the Same Finding community doesn’t mean surrounding yourself with people every waking moment.Retherford makes an important distinction between isolation and choosing to spend time alone. Some people genuinely enjoy solitude and need more of it than others.That’s different from feeling disconnected when you want connection.So the question isn’t:How many friends should I have?There isn’t a correct number.A better question might be:Do I have people I can turn to?For one student, that might mean a large group. For another, it may be two close friends, a family member and a trusted professor.Belonging isn’t measured by the size of your circle.It’s about having relationships and communities where you feel supported, known and able to connect authentically. Give Community Time to Grow If you haven’t found your people during the first week, first month or even first semester, your opportunity hasn’t passed.Keep showing up.Try something you’re interested in. Talk to the person sitting beside you. Accept an invitation occasionally. Invite someone else. Return to places where you’ve felt comfortable.And pay attention to where connection begins happening naturally.Podgaisky’s hope that students find their “specific niche” is a helpful reminder that belonging doesn’t have to mean becoming part of everything happening around you.College gives you years—not days—to build relationships.Some connections will be temporary. Others may surprise you. A few may become friendships you carry long after you’ve forgotten the class, meeting or campus event where they began.Finding your people isn’t a race.Sometimes it starts simply because you showed up one more time. Need Support? Connect With the GWU Counseling Center The GWU Counseling Center is in the Tucker Student Center. Hours: Monday-Friday, 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.To schedule an appointment please call or email us at:±Ê³ó´Ç²Ô±ð:Ìý(704) 406-2729·¡³¾²¹¾±±ô:Ìý[email protected] Additional Support Links: The Counseling CenterCampus Life
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